Whatever Happened to Naraku
by jin-for-prez
Summary: This is what really caused the end of naraku's life. (not the final battles.)not so one-shotty now! Not Completed, More to Come!
1. What Really Happened

**Whatever Happened to Naraku**

**written by Ayumi Shiroi –and a lot of help from my best friend Akuma Ausama **

**Arigato bunches to all my friends.**

_Inuyasha kicks Naraku's ass._

_Naraku goes to the nut house._

_Naraku gets his hands on some Morphine._

_Naraku go's insane._

_Kaugra kicks naraku in the nuts._

_Jaken hits Naraku in the nuts with his staff of heads._

_Rin kicks naraku in the nuts._

_Miroku hits Naraku in the nuts with his staff of the houshi._

_Sango hits Naraku in the nuts with her Hirakotsu. _

_Kagome, Kaede, and the clay pot bitch Kikyou all stab Naraku in the nuts with their arrows._

_Shippou whacks Naraku in the nuts with a giant cartoon mallet._

_Ah-Un bites naraku on the nuts._

_Kirara bites Naraku on the nuts._

_Kouga karate kicks Naraku in the nuts._

_Ginta and Hakkaku kick naraku in the nuts._

_Inuyasha hacks off Naraku's nuts._

_Sesshoumaru gives Naraku Nitro-Glycerin disguised as tap water._

_when the sunlight hit Naraku, he blew up._

_He regenerates (every thing except his nuts)._

_Kaugra and kannah kick naraku where his nuts once were._

_Naraku is so stupid he takes liquid nitrogen from sesshoumaru._

_Naraku instantly freezes after ingesting._

_sesshoumaru pushes naraku over and he breaks into a bazzilion pieces_

**The world may never know!** **(but you will)**

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**Feel free to review, I'm not pressureing anyone.**

** thank you for reading this, **

** Ayumi and Akuma**


	2. Military Problems

**Whatever happened to naraku II**

**Military Variation of Naraku's death**

**Typed by: Ayumi Shiroi (me) but thought up with tons of help from Mavric

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**

Naraku leaves his castle and as a joke Kaugra and Kanna put a bucket of glue and a dead fish ( which rightfully fell on his head ) ( it's stuck on his head throughout the whole thing )

The cats and cat demons start to ambush him on his own porch thingy ( I'm not sure what it's called...A little help please? )

He runs as fast as his legs can take him and inevitably luck is not on his side today so he falls into a real deep puddle of water.

The lightning decided... "oh what the hell is this frank?" "I don't know George, let's shoot it!" they start shooting Naraku with a few lightning bolts zapping him right where he stood. ( face down in a puddle of water )

Naraku thinks he smells something good that's cooking but then realized that it is his own body that is cooking.

Naraku rolls around on the ground by the big lake thinking that the tactic would help him put out the flames.

He rolled so much that the flames dissipated but he got extremely dizzy. That's why he never saw the cliff coming. He fell right off!

On the long fall down starved buzzards, hawks and eagles start attacking him.

The bucket falls of his already bruised head and he sees his fate which is the very well- placed extremely sharp rocks at the bottom.

He falls onto the rocks and one really sharp rock stabs him right through his nuts.

He wakes up twelve days later ro see that his nuts were missing at that thought just sunk through his thick skull he faints at the damage done.

He wakes up again but realizes that the world seems so much more alive. So he decides to run and skip through a field of wildflowers.

He sees a blue glowing oval shaped thing, he gets real curious and touches it and not knowing it was a portal or rip in time.

The portal brings him to the present time in the United States, near a U.S. Marine Base.

The Marines spot him walking around in their live mine field area, so they pull out their RPG, (Rocket Propelled Grenades) AK47s and their tanks and bomber squads.

Knowing him to be a total and complete asshole so there he is skipping around in the mine field like a gay idiot with a big bloody spot on the front of his pants.

They think it was an alien so they shoot him all at once.

When the smoke clears they see naraku regenerate (except his nuts)

They think that he's an alien so they box him up and send him to Area 51 where he spots a doctor with a scalpel, they gas him to sleep and start probing around inside him.

A few hours or days later he wakes up to see stitches all over his body, he starts to squirm and try to get loose

The shackles finally broke and he starts to run through the base butt naked.

The troops are alerted and they start to chase him with RPG and Rocket Launchers

He gets past the troops with Rocket Launchers but a tank runs him over

He lays on the ground quiet and still

Then a convoy of 962 Heavy Assault Tanks run him over

They decide to back up and run him over again just for the hell of it

They continue to run him over until they were absoulutly positive he was dead or gone.

They see him laying on the road and they scrape him up with a kitchen size spatula

He jumps up and runs away when the Marines spot him trying to escape while being as flat as paper.

The Marines grab their weapons and open fire **BOOM!

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**

**WILL NARAKU SURVIVE... PROBABLY _NOT_...**

**Disclaimer:** not myne, but fighting for Sess-chan


	3. Kitchen Catastrophy

**Whatever Happened To Naraku III**

**Kitchen Edition**

**Typed by Ayumi Shiroi and original thoughts by Mavric

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**

Naraku regenerates after the last torture session but still very paranoid.

Being paranoid makes him hungry.

He enters the kitchen.

Gasoline falls upon him but is disguised as 'common grease'.

He decides to warm the place up by turning on the stove.

His hair and shoulders catch on fire.

He shoves his head into dirty dishwater.

He sits on the open door of the dishwasher.

The dishwasher automatically turns itself on and shoves him in and closes the door.

With him inside the dishwasher blows up.

Naraku regenerates himself.

He stands beside some drawers and Riggs them with Springing Action.

He sets up the really sharp, pointy knives inside.

An 3.2 Richter Scale size earthquake occurs.

The springs are set off.

The sharp knives fly towards him and stab him in numerous places.

A small mouse finds an iron skillet.

The mouse picks it up and starts mauling naraku in the nuts with it.

His hair is still wet so he rings it out over the sink.

The garbage disposal automatically turns on and grabs his hair.

While trying to untangle his hair from the disposal's grip he knocks over a popcorn popper (still plugged in) and a box of metal sporks.

The sporks fall into the popper and it starts shooting him.

While getting sporks jabbed everywhere a rabid monkey shoves his face into the dishwater.

Six more mice armed with iron skillets and frying pans came out and start mauling him in the nuts with them along with the first one still attacking.

Naraku faints face-first into the dishwater.

He eventually drowns.

He regenerates for the next chapter.

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**Not very good but it's funny!**

**Disclaimer: **not myne, but I'm fighting for Sess-chan!


	4. city edition

**Whatever Happened to naraku**

**city Edition**

**By Ayame and Mavric**

Disclaimer: i dont own naraku, but i own the assortments of animals i used to kill him though.

Naraku goes to some big city

He walks undera painter's ladder and red paint drops on him

At a close-by intersection, a bull somehow manages to get out of a trailer,

and spots naraku (the bull has horns)

The bull chases naraku, and beats him into a pulp

While being chased,naraku runs into a flower shop infested with bees

Bees and bull gang up on naraku

Not noticing the construction sign, naraku runs into the construction zone

Seven tons of steel break loose and fall on naraku

That distraction caused a cement truck driver to switch gears and crash

through a wall into a dog kennel with rabid dogs

Bull, bees, and rabid dogs gang up on naraku

Running under a appartment complex, a grand piano drops on him

He gets hit by a trolly

He climbs up a telephone pole

He disturbs a bird's nest

Bird, bull, bees, and rabid dogs gang up on him

Naraku runs into a back alley

Heruns smack into a bunch of thugs

Thugs get pissed

Bees, bull, bird, rabid dogs, and thugs gang up on him

Narku run into an alley to which has no escape

Bees, bull, bird, rabid dogs, and thugs kill naraku

Naraku regenerates for the next tourture session


End file.
